Sunday, October 24, 2010

Westboro Cyclist Arrives To Work 3 Minutes Earlier Thanks To Spandex, Clicky Shoes

Westboro- Westboro resident Hubert Nettle was elated to learn he got to work 3 minutes earlier than normal thanks to his new Spandex bike shorts, aerodynamic helmet, camel pack and bolt-to-the-pedal click shoes. Attributing his early arrival at Statistics Canada to the new bike equipment, Nettle is elated and proud to learn he can now get there 3 minutes earlier. “I really needed the Spandex and click-in shoes to get here as fast as possible.” Nettle stated. “Without this bike equipment I definitely would have been 1-2 minutes slower.” he remarked.

Often questioned by on-lookers if he was in training for the Tour De France or Ironman Triathlon, Nettle joins the ranks of many Westboro residents who commute to work by bicycle, utilizing aerodynamic and time saving equipment such as Spandex outerwear and click-in-the-pedal shoes. Many of these commuters can be heard clacking around local coffee shops in their bike shoes and be seen in colourful Spandex, making their commute time shorter. “Sure I could easily just wear normal clothes and get to work for nine, but with my bike gear I can get there by 8:55.” explained fellow rider Kevin Murdale who also wears the elaborate outfit to work.

With traffic increasingly congested on city streets, many residents are opting to bike to work, but they want to make sure they take seriously the 19 minute bike ride into the downtown core. “I want people to know I bike to work when I walk into Bridgehead and the Spandex and clacking sound the shoes make as I walk around really assists with that image I’m trying to convey.” Murdale explains.

Next week both Murdale and Nettle hope to shave off another 30 seconds and increase attention to their image by wearing a face shield to improve aerodynamics. Next year, both cyclists will be purchasing recumbent bicycles to further decrease their commute time. Cyclists interested in acquiring these and other time saving devices can visit their local bike shop or any of the 178 outdoor stores in the Westboro area.


  1. I am committed to my 19 minute commute in the fairer months, and now you have convinced me that I truly do need the clicky shoes too. Next year, 18 minutes for me!

  2. Are you kidding me. It takes 10 minutes to change out of those spandex clothes. You don't save time.

  3. Interesting. From an anthropological perspective, I've always thought that the Spandex/clicky shoe combo was just designed to help urban males draw attention to size of their package in a manner similar to how a peacock uses tail plumage to entice mates. Personally, I find it a very effective strategy since, when I hear that irritating clicking I can't help but look for the source and then inevitably my eyes are forced to focus to the crotchal area as a result the tight-shininess of the lycra. Of course, my response is typically to want to punch them in the junk but perhaps some women are sexually aroused by this display.

  4. Exactly why I wear Spandex grocery shopping!