Tuesday, October 19, 2010

O'Brien Proposes Lighter-Than-Air Transit Instead Of Light Rail

Ottawa- Current Mayor Larry O'Brien revealed today his future vision of transit in the Ottawa area through the use of Lighter-Than-Air vehicles rather than the planned Light Rail Transit system proposed by other mayoral candidates.

A somewhat confused and anxious O'Brien made his presentation to press and media in the lobby of City Hall this morning in an attempt to boost lagging voter confidence in his campaign. Criticized for his lack of vision with regards to transit in the Ottawa area, O'Brien emphatically unveiled a model of his planned airship that will carry commuters across the city. His plan uses lighter-than-air dirigibles that would transport passengers east and west from mooring towers in Kanata, Downtown and Orleans. O'Brien proposes the use of at least 25 airships through OC Transpo who would be the chief operator of the system. "The City of Ottawa needs giant blimps!" O'Brien stated in his presentation and continued to show a video and about the lighter-than-air vehicles. The media was than welcomed to question O'Brien about his new transit plan, with many reporters skeptical of the dangerous and expensive idea.

"The skies will be filled with giant blimps carrying commuters efficiently across our great city, freeing the roads of congesting traffic and allow us to gaze down upon the beauty that is Ottawa." O'Brien responded when asked why giant airships instead of light rail transit. Fellow candidate Jim Watson was puzzled by the last minute desperate attempt at a transit plan by O'Brien but did not completely dismiss the eccentric plan. "I could use the blimps myself to get to the multiple events I usually I have booked." commented Watson.

After the presentation O'Brien left the stage to board his own personal lighter-than-air ship docked behind City Hall emblazoned with "Luthor Industries", and took off towards a campaign stop in Greely.