Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Area Restaurant Offers Convenient Two Hour Wait For Weekend Breakfast

Hungry customers line up for a convenient 2hour wait.
Ottawa - Hoping to cash in on the popular weekend "brunch" crowd, a local restaurant is offering a favourable 2 hour wait time for hungry customers. With throngs of hungover twenty-year-olds eager to sample creatively prepared breakfast dishes in a quirky atmosphere of bad acoustics, exposed brick walls, and ventilation pipes, Pinched Loaf Bakery in Hintonburg is answering the call with faster wait times and less line-ups.

Typical wait times for artisan style restaurant brunch spots are in the 3-4 hour wait range, but Pinched Loaf Bakery is getting their handcrafted egg concoctions to people faster by using a cafeteria style method of serving similar to Ikea. Special advance seating can also be arranged online, and Pinched Loaf also has a Stand and Eat section for those that don't mind not being able to sit down.

Restaurant owner Mike Hardlow hopes his 2 hour wait will free up some time for customers who would rather be doing other things on a Saturday or Sunday morning, like waiting in line at a Bridgehead, Ikea, or at the Apple Store. "We offer a very convenient wait time, and with our free Wi-Fi, customers in line can surf the web, Skype with other friends in the line-up or even take advantage of our free while-you-wait beard trimming service." explained Hardlow.

Brunch patron Kyle Nelden, 24, enjoying some pan seared whisked discs
after waiting only 2 hours for a table.
Pinched Loaf Bakery specializes in artisan style foods with whimsical alternative names for menu items such as "Pan Seared Whisked Discs" (pancakes) and "Agitated De-shelled Bird Capsules With Pork Shingles" (scrambled eggs and bacon). Hardlow gained notoriety with Ottawa bread buffs by serving his artisan style bread that he makes fresh each day at 2am from a recipe given to him by a renowned bread artist while he worked in a bread gallery inside a cave near Bordeaux, France.

Customers seem to enjoy the reduced wait time at Pinched Loaf and expressed excitement at the fact they'd receive their artisan breakfast sooner. "Our weekend is not complete without spending at least two hours in some kind of line-up, so this place works out well for us." said Fuscia Meeks, 23, who likes to spend her weekends brunching with her friends that are visiting from out of town. "Pretty much every weekend I have someone crashing at my place so I really enjoy coming here and standing in line with them and talking about how crazy our night before was." Meeks explained. "A 2 hour wait AND a $24 plate of bacon and eggs is all part of our perfect weekend experience."

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Bridgehead Launches "Lick Up The Latte" Contest

Ottawa - Local coffee giant Bridgehead officially launched their own coffee shop contest to compete with Tim Horton's highly popular "Roll Up The Rim" contest. Called "Lick Up The Latte", coffee customers will have a chance to win an assortment of fairly won prizes that include yoga lessons, baby strollers beard trimmings, and even the grand prize of an all expense paid trip to Machu Pichhu.

Similar to Tim Horton's contest in which customers order a coffee to receive a game play cup, Bridgehead will offer special lattes in which the latte foam will reveal if the customer is a winner or not. Baristas in the Bridgehead dispense an unknown contest foam into the cup where the special foam powder reveals a design that indicates if the customer is a winner or not.

Bridgehead President Of Marketing Frank Durrell says the contest will hopefully give coffee drinkers in the Ottawa area an alternative to Tim Horton's widely popular Roll Up The Rim contest. "We put our beards together on this one and think Lick Up The Latte will be a huge success with our loyal, and new customers alike." says Durrell. The contest closes April 23 when the grand prize to Machu Picchu will be awarded.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Peter Mansbridge To Become New Pope

CBC's Peter Mansbridge will be appointed as Pope Peter X
The Vatican - The papal conclave finalized plans today to appoint CBC News Anchor Peter Mansbridge as the successor to Pope Benedict XVI after a unanimous cardinal voting session within the Sistine Chapel. Mansbridge will be ordained as Pope Peter X in a papal ceremony later this week after the Vatican Clothier outfits Mansbridge in his new Pope clothes and hat.

The decision to appoint Mansbridge came after his exclusive interviews with various cardinals within the papal conclave this week, where his Canadian charm and easy going, but hard-hitting questions commanded the respect of all cardinals in the conclave. Cardinals also cited Mansbridge fit the bill with regards to appearance and stature, stating his looks "fit the bill well as the new Pope".

As the new pontiff, Mansbridge will retire from the CBC where he has been chief correspondent for CBC News and host of the popular program The National. Pope Peter X will then be ceremoniously sworn in as the new Pope at The Vatican as early as next week.

Canadian Cardinal Ouellet, who Mansbridge exclusively interviewed on CBC News, wishes the new pontiff well, and thinks Mansbridge will make a good Pope. "Peter is well suited to being Pope, his looks alone carry him far, but his hard-hitting questions about faith and religion and his congenial behaviour are what I think secured him the vote from the entire conclave." Ouellet remarked.

Other cardinals were less optimistic and cited that the Mansbridge appointment was a clerical error from within the conclave. "You put a pile of 80 year old men together in a room for days, there's bound to be some clerical errors, and I'm not saying Mansbridge shouldn't be the new Pope, I'm just saying I think we goofed up somehow." commented Cardinal Karl Lehmann from Germany. "We really don't know what happened in there because we burnt some stuff in the little oven by accident, so let's just roll with it and see what happens." Lehmann remarked.