Monday, September 20, 2010

Loblaws Profits Drop In Q3

Ottawa - Known to many for their innovative and delicious line of “President’s Choice” food products, Loblaws Foods Inc. reported a mysterious drop in sales in the third quarter after launching their latest line of new food products in August. CEO and Loblaws spokesperson, Galen Weston was puzzled by the recent lag in sales, but is confident his new products will soon catch on. “We travel the world to collect unique and delicious food ideas that we know consumers will enjoy, but may not be familiar with.” Weston explained.

The familiar enlarged photographs of food that emblazon their transport trucks to advertise their products may have something to do with the dramatic decrease in sales, but Weston believes the giant, close-up photos of their products is necessary to familiarize motorists with the new products.

“Memories of Head Cheese” and “The Ultimate Tripe Tart” are two new products that add to the popularity of Loblaws own grocery line. “Memories of Head Cheese” combines the delicacy of meat by-products such as tongue, intestines, liver and spleen with a gelatinous coating that contains the meat in a sliceable loaf.

Weston is now reluctant to introduce any further food products until current ones find their niche market for the company. “We were prepared to launch our ‘Turkey Giblet Loaf’ ad campaign but had difficulty photographing the neck and kidneys properly for enlargements on the side of our trucks.” Weston commented.


  1. Yum! Can't wait to try some of the new products! LOL!

  2. Just wait 'til you see Ol' Gale's commercial about our local head cheese farmers. The whole family sits down round the boilers and, well, I don't want to give it away, but I teared up.