Monday, September 6, 2010

Eco-Friendly Vehicles With Kayaks Now Mandatory For All Westboro Residents

Westboro - City Council unanimously voted to make it a mandatory for all residents of the Westboro area of Kitchissippi Ward to own an eco-friendly vehicle with a roof mounted kayak. The new bylaw takes effect this Friday September 10, and any residents not complying will be faced with a $109.34 fine.

With most residents of Westboro already complying with the regulation, the transition should be an easy one for most of the neighbourhood, although some residents are upset and think that City Council has gone too far. “Last year they made us all use giant three wheel strollers for our children, the year before that we could only have Labradoodles as pets, and now this year, a hybrid/kayak combo?” exclaimed Denbury Avenue resident Barb Holden who recently bought a Porsche Cayenne SUV instead of the preferred hybrid/kayak. “I even became an organic vegan and wear Lulu-Lemon as requested by our property purchase contract, but each day I’m finding it harder to live in the neighbourhood” remarked Holden.

Kitchissippi Councillor Christine Leadman explained the hybrid/kayak combo will not only help the environment, but ensure the Westboro area has a consistent appearance. Residents will still be free to choose the type of hybrid vehicle they own, but the kayak must be yellow and be purchased at either Trailhead or Bushtaka. “The neighbourhood has an image to maintain, and we need to make sure that image is strictly enforced.” Leadman stated.

The predicted increase in kayak sales will not necessarily mean an increase in usage on the Ottawa River, since most owners will simply have the kayak on the roof of their car for decorative purposes. Bushtaka owner, Hal Williams explained. “Most kayak and roof rack sales are to project an ‘outdoorsy, adventurous’ image of the owner, but rarely is the kayak actually used.” Williams has already pre-ordered 5,000 yellow kayaks in anticipation of the new bylaw, and expects demand to be gradual, but steady. “This trend will probably exceed the fleece sweater-vest trend of 1998, but we are confident our store can supply our customers with the look they need to reside in this wonderful and dynamic neighbourhood.”


  1. Hahahahaha! I love this blog, and this post is amazing. I used to work at a toy store in the Glebe, another neighbourhood full of insufferable posers, and I couldn't stand the awful yuppie moms and their jogging strollers - the Glebe equivalent of the Westboro kayak.

  2. Don't get me started on the Running Room windbreaker initiative of 2008.

  3. HAHAHA! good ones! thanks for checking in....stay tuned for more important news that Leigh Chapple may have missed.

  4. I am very happy to read this. This is the kind of manual that needs to be given and not the random misinformation that's at the other blogs. Appreciate your sharing this best posting.