Ottawa - The area's beaches were opened today, but hastily closed ten minutes later after health officials found large concentrations of Sea Monkeys in the water. Known for their joyful frolicking and aquatic tricks, the mischievous Sea Monkeys were deemed to much of a health hazard after a toddler at Westboro beach began choking on the rambunctious creatures after a swim. "We think it's best the city closes all the beaches after we found the Sea Monkey count to be above safe levels." exclaimed Ottawa Public Health Officer Mike Frommer. Water quality is usually compromised by high levels of E.Coli bacteria, but this is the first time all 5 area beaches have been closed due to the Sea Monkey contamination. "Children are especially susceptible to ingesting the Sea Monkeys who like to swim into the mouths or other orifices." Frommer stated. "The City is looking into culling the Sea Monkeys this weekend so beaches should be open again by Monday."