Monday, January 17, 2011

Mayan Calendar Reveals "Happy New Year!" Phrase Should End On Jan.8

The World - Recent studies of the ancient Mayan calendar reveal that the familiar, and all too prolonged greeting of "Happy New Year!" should cease being used on January 8th, one week after New Year's Day. Any further use of the phrase past that date is deemed "idiotic, redundant and stale" by the Mayans, who pioneered the use of a calendar to mark the passage of time.

Dr. Fresden Gunther of the University of Georgia unravelled the mystery of when people should stop saying "Happy New Year!" to each other when they exchange greetings earlier this week when he was deciphering the ancient Mayan calendar's peculiar outer rim hieroglyphics. "It seems the ancient Mayans would rip out the heart of anyone in sacrifice of those who spoke the words "Happy New Year!" to each other after January 8th." Gunther explained. "It was considered a sacrilege to the sun gods to use that phrase past one week from the Eve of the New Year." remarked Gunther, who has been studying a 1000 year old Mayan calendar he excavated from a temple near Tuluum, Mexico in 2009.

For decades, people have been confused as to when they should stop saying the familiar phrase "Happy New Year!" to each other, with some people using the expression well into the month of February. A common greeting in the immediate days after New Year's Day, the expression loses it's lustre after about a week, but many see it necessary to say it anyway if they haven't seen the person they are greeting since New Year's. Dr. Gunther hopes this will once and for all end the troubling debate about when society can stop saying the phrase and bring a sense of finality to the ancient greeting thanks to the Mayan culture and their ingenious calendar that also states we are all going to die in the year 2012.

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