Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Hundreds Of New Immigrants Line Up To Return Home After Experiencing Canadian Winter

Ottawa - Scores of new immigrants to Canada are packing it in and returning to their warm, sunny climates after facing their initial bone chilling Canadian winter. Most new immigrants had no idea what winters in Canada were like, and were shocked at how cold, bleak and grey it is for weeks on end. “This isn’t what we expected when we saw the brochures on Canada.” exclaimed Ninata Huovuez who emigrated to Canada from her native country of Nicaragua, where temperatures rarely dip below 20 degrees Celius. “This is total bulls--t...I lost two toes to frostbite and can’t even go outside with my children cause their eyeballs will freeze.”

Huovuez joins hundreds of other recent immigrants who are shocked and terrified of what most Canadians endure each winter. “I would rather go back to my homeland and risk getting macheted to death, starve or drown in floods rather than put up with this f---ing arctic torture.” Congo immigrant Patrice Lumbumba yelled as she waited in line at the Congo embassy for her visa to return home. “Enough is Canadians are idiots to stay here and freeze. No one told us it would be a living ice hell coming to Canada. They showed us pictures of beavers and green forests. I feel cheated.” Lumbumba accused the Canadian government who filed her immigration papers last summer.

Most new immigrants share the same sentiments regarding their move to Canada, a betrayal at the fact no one told them it is freezing cold here for six months of the year. Many would rather return to their impoverished homeland instead of enduring the intense cold. “I’ll probably starve to death or be convicted of treason and executed when I return home, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take if I can at least be warm again.” Lumbumba remarked.

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