Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Dewar, Bradley Heat Up Election With New Signs Targeting Female Voters

Ottawa - Local candidates Scott Bradley (Lib) and Paul Dewar (NDP) launched a new direction in their campaigning this week as they unveiled a series of new election signs featuring themselves bare-chested. Specifically targeting women voters of the Ottawa-Centre riding, and possibly, the gay male demographic, both Dewar and Bradley discarded their more conservative photos from previous signage, and replaced the image with more appealing photos that will hopefully garner some votes from undecided women voters in the riding.

Local female residents have responded favourably to the new signs, flooding both Dewar's and Bradley's campaign offices with calls for signs to be erected on lawns across the riding. "I think Bradley has the nicest chest, so my vote is for him!" exclaimed Ottawa-Centre resident Heather Jenkle, who has never voted Liberal in her life, but has decided to now thanks to the provocative new Bradley campaign sign. "Dewar is ok too, but it looks like he might use performance enhancing proteins, which I think looks unnatural." Jenkle explained. Other women think both candidates are equally "hot" and are clambering to have their signs adorn their front lawns. "I actually have both signs on my lawn," remarked Hintonburg resident Sheila Postman, "so I can look out my window at both bare-chests each morning." Postman replied.

Both Dewar and Bradley are diligently campaigning in the final weeks leading up to the election, with Bradley making more of an effort in his sign and canvassing blitz in the local neighbourhoods. Dewar meanwhile is taking a more relaxed approach, counting on his handsomeness to win the election for him. Both candidates hope the signs will grab some new votes from women who may have been undecided about voting in the upcoming election. "I've been working out for weeks to get the right look for my sign, but I think it will pay off if I get some more votes." Bradley explained while campaigning along 417 off ramps earlier today.

The new signs will hopefully also grab the attention of the gay male voters of the "Gay Village" which is within the Ottawa-Centre riding along Bank Street. "Dewar has my vote with that yummy chest! And with his innovative new child care program, Charles and I will be able to put our adopted Kenyan child into a proper daycare." commented Bank Street resident Michael Olthoff from inside Wilde's Gay Boutique.

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