Monday, April 18, 2011

417 Off-Ramp Hobos Upset By Campaign Signs

Ottawa - Countless off-ramp hobos who make their home and peddling grounds on the off-ramps from Highway 417 have failed to make a concrete decision on who they will vote for in the upcoming federal election. Even after a relentless campaigning effort by the city candidates who visited the important off-ramp territories, the hobos or “OR-hobos”, as they are called by their peers, left many confused and upset by the blitz of campaign signs that litter their off ramp grounds. “My handheld cardboard sign for spare change gets lost amongst the sea of these campaign signs and leaves me rather indignant as to who I will cast a ballot for come election day this fortnight.” a well spoken OR-hobo, Kensington Wallace exclaimed from his makeshift Maytag box residence at the side of the Bronson exit. “I really don’t know who I trust to improve our living and work conditions.” Wallace remarked as he continued to pan-handle motorists exiting the Queensway off ramps.

Candidate’s of Ottawa-Centre have recently plastered hundreds of campaign signs on the off-ramp exits from the 417 hoping to sway the votes of passing motorists leaving the busy highway, but have failed to sway the votes of any hobos. They are left completely confused and lost as they are exposed to a sensory overload of campaign signs each day. Ottawa-Centre Liberal candidate Scott Bradley joined OR-hobos Sunday afternoon in a continual campaigning blitz that had off-ramp hobo Mike Simpson sharing his ramp space with Bradley in an attempt to garner some spare change and votes from passing motorists. “We got a few horn honks of support of my campaign, and I think Mikey got some spare change, so I think it was a good day on the campaign trail.” Bradley remarked as he gave the off-ramp hobo some large weather resistant campaign signs to build a better wind shelter.

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