Sunday, March 13, 2011

Birthmark Ruining Spring Break For Queen's Student

Fort Lauderdale - A first year Queen's University student is facing a tough time in Fort Lauderdale this Spring Break due to an unfortunate birthmark on his upper torso. Dwayne Keeler, 19, a first year Arts student at Queen's University, is grappling with the fact his chances of meeting a female companion may be reduced to zero due to his Star Trek themed skin formation below his right shoulder.

The birthmark resembles the Starship Enterprise from the hit science fiction television and film series "Star Trek", which is popular with science fiction and comic book fans around the world. With Keller's sole intention of Spring Break being "to meet chicks" and "getting totally hammered", he may have to adjust his game plan or alternatively wear a shirt while on the beach. "It's not fair I was born with this stupid Enterprise birthmark, all the girls think I'm some Star Trek nerd when I hit the beach or work out." Keller explained. "Just last night me and my buddies were doing beer bongs down at the volleyball court and this chick yelled 'hey nerd, set phasers on loser!' and laughed at me." lamented Keller who is currently seeking a dermatologist about getting his Enterprise shaped mark removed. "I don't even know what Star Trek is, I haven't seen one episode, but I do know its killing any chances I have getting laid down here." Keller remarked from his hotel room near the pool before going shirtless with 10 other shirtless college students to a Bacardi Rum Beach Slam.

Joining hundreds of other college students in Fort Lauderdale for Spring Break celebrations, Keller hopes to have his birthmark removed by the summer when he will be employed as a College Pro painter, and be forced to work shirtless, exposing his birthmark to the judging public once again. "The sooner this thing gets removed, the better my chances are of picking up chicks down at the Hope Volleyball Tournament this summer." said Keller before putting his baseball cap on backwards and heading poolside to do some shooters.

1 comment:

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