Friday, December 2, 2011

Ottawa School Replaces Christmas Concert With A Visit From "Holidax" The Androgynous, Holiday-Neutral Robot

Ottawa - Another Ottawa area school has cancelled its annual Christmas assembly for fear it may exclude those students who may not celebrate Christmas, replacing the event with a fun- filled visit from the new holiday-neutral robot called "Holidax". Created specifically for such occasions by the Ottawa-Carleton District School Board, Holidax is a 12 foot mechanical robot that will visit schools across the region, delivering holiday cheer to all children, regardless of their Christmas beliefs.

Mary Whitton Public School in Ottawa South will be the second school to cancel their traditional Christmas assembly out of fear they may be excluding some cultures from the festivities, with the principal of the school, Mary Humphrey-Black, gladly signing up Holidax for a student visit. "I think the androgynous, holiday-neutral robot is a wonderfully inclusive way for the students to celebrate the holidays." Humphrey-Black explained. "I understand Holidax includes all children in his presentation, and in 12 languages, and instead of candy canes, hands out a nutritious and allergy free bio-paste treat that is dispensed from a hole in his lower abdomen."

Engineered by Levant Technologies in Houston , Texas, Holidax the Robot is designed to help students celebrate holidays from all cultures through the use of an androgynous body form, that does not discriminate gender, and also in a non-biased format. His inner body contains a healthy bio-paste of flaxseed and corn meal that is dispensed to children instead of unhealthy candy canes for the holiday season.

The OCDSB applauds the use of Holidax and will be implementing him/her into all school Christmas assemblies over the next few weeks. OCDSB President Linda Johnson says the robot will greatly alleviate the cultural differences between students and bring happiness to all children. "Holidax eliminates the need for any Christmas-centric celebrating...we no longer have to put up Christmas trees, do Nativity scenes, have a gift exchange, sing Christmas carols, hire a Santa, or hand out candy canes anymore. I think the children will all benefit from his visits." says Johnson. "Holidax" is also available for office parties and community events where any traditional celebrations need to be neutralized into a safe, and inclusive environment.


  1. Too bad the school staff feel they "have to put up Christmas trees, do Nativity scenes, have a gift exchange, sing Christmas carols, hire a Santa, or hand out candy canes..." Seems like all the fun of Christmas for kids the school has taken away. After all, too much happiness never does go over well with some immigrants. School should be ashamed of themselves and I'm sure they will suffer for their denial of the Christmas story and not relating to the children.

  2. Always blaming it on the immigrants.

    FYI, this is a satirical website. As in, it's a joke.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Please note that the school that cancelled the Christmas concert was in the Upper Canada District School Board - NOT in Ottawa.

  5. It would be really nice if this blog was factual. Check your facts before you slam a school and a school district!

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