Monday, August 15, 2011

Two "Flash Mob" Groups Injured in Coincidental, Spontaneous Dance Mix Up

Ottawa - Two groups of "flash mobs" suffered multiple injuries earlier today after the two groups coincidentally and spontaneously broke into ridiculous dancing in the Byward Market. The two groups apparently broke into choreographed dance moves at the same time which took each group by surprise, with many dancers suffering elbows to the faces, kicks to the groin, and finger pointing into eye sockets. Combining two large groups of "flash mobs" who were unaware of each others intentions led to the disastrous dancing outbreak, sending 7 people to hospital with multiple, but non-life threatening injuries.

"The two groups assembled together unbeknownst they accidentally had planned the dancing outburst at the same time, in the same place." explained paramedic-on-the-scene Dale Kirkland, who treated one dancer with a lacerated eyelid. "This one dancer accidentally got jazz hands right in their face." remarked Kirkland who was first on the chaotic and devastating flash mob-gone-wrong.

Ottawa Police were called to the scene to question the dancers and came to the conclusion the incident was caused by coincidentally poor timing, and no charges will be laid. The City Of Ottawa has said they will be cracking down harder on the trend of surprise flash mobbing, even though most flash mobs announce their supposedly secret dancing outburst ahead of time through social media anyway.

In the Middle East, flash mobs have been banned and made illegal after a botched flash mob was thought to be a Taliban terrorist suicide-bomb act with all participants being killed by unknowing security personnel. In Italy, another flash mob went horribly wrong when dancers unknowingly broke out into seemingly disrespectful dancing in front of a funeral for a well-known Mafia member, resulting in the deaths of 4 dancers.


  1. This was bound to happen sometime. The City should really look at regulating flash mob behaviours and require permits.