Thursday, October 25, 2012

Time Travelling Voyageur Mistaken For Hipster In Hintonburg

The time-traveling voyageur captured by an iPhone outside the Elmdale
Hintonburg - A time travelling voyageur from the year 1793 was discovered in Hintonburg Wednesday night after he was mistakenly thought to be a hipster hanging out in front of the Elmdale Tavern. A local hipster asked to borrow a smoke from the bearded, red floppy toque wearing man, and when he produced a clay pipe, the hipster grew suspicious of his character and later found out he was a voyageur who had somehow travelled through time in his canoe on the nearby Ottawa River.

Nearby hipsters in the Hintonburg neighbourhood also thought he was one of their group, and even discussed how they admired his red floppy toque and sash. When the hipsters began asking the man about his sash, he responded "I got this sash before your time." and went on to explain how he was lost and his canoe was docked at the nearby Chaudiere Falls. The voyageur then continued to speak to the mingling hipsters as if they too were voyageurs, asking what trade route they were on. Not knowing what he was referring to, the bearded, similarly dressed hipsters called 911 and reported the voyageur as "suspicious".

The time travelling voyageur then grew confused after realizing the group was not also a group of fellow voyageurs and retreated with his bundle of pelts into the Hintonburg shadows. "Yeah, he actually thought we were all voyageurs too." explained Hintonburg hipster Kayle Corbett, 28, who is a regular at the Elmdale Tavern. "I thought he was one of my pals so I asked to bum a smoke, but then he pulled out this clay pipe which I've never seen before, so I knew something was not right." remarked Corbett. "He then told me he was into clay pipes way before me, and put it back into his sash." 

Police arrived on the scene to investigate, but upon arrival, the time travelling voyageur most likely got back into his canoe on the Ottawa River and entered the time travel portal from where he came from and disappeared with no further sightings reported.

1 comment:

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