Monday, October 1, 2012

Chrysler Robots Reach Tentative Deal With Auto Workers Union

Robot president CL-2345X addresses the media about the deal.
Windsor Robots of the auto assembly industry reached a tentative deal with the Canadian Auto Union and voted in favour of not completely replacing all human workers at assembly plants across Canada. The CAW said the robots voted 90 per cent in favour of not completely replacing the inferior humans with their minimal work ethic and sub-standard productivity. 

CL-2345X announces a deal with Chrysler that does not replace humans.

The robots deal with Chrysler followed agreements reached with Ford and then General Motors in mid-September as part of a pattern bargaining process.
The deal includes not killing the slacking human auto workers by spot welding their beer guts to the chassis frames of vehicles undergoing assembly, and limiting the use of robot ridicule in the work place.

Robot president CL-2345X  said Sunday that now that the union has secured new deals with all of the Big Three automaker Robot forces, his focus will turn to a increasing robot dominance in the workplace. "Bleep, Blurp, bzzzzt" CL-2345X said in a statement.

CL-2345X said that a national auto strategy will not only ensure the industry’s future, but also avoid a “robot uprising” in working conditions. Among the union’s proposals are commitments to building a workforce of humans that will not be made obsolete by the extremely efficient and cost effective robots that can do the work of ten humans for mere pennies a day. "We know the robots can out-perfrom us in every aspect, but when Canadians buy their minivan, I think they want to know that the seats were put in by a human hand instead of the claw of a robot." said Union president Lyle Godfrey.

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