Monday, July 18, 2011

Crotchety Old Lady Blown Off Segregated Bike Lane Blamed For Stage Collapse

Ottawa - The violent wind storm that swept through the Ottawa region last night causing severe damage to the Bluesfest main stage also carried a mean old lady and her bike off the segregated bike lane on Laurier Avenue into the Bluesfest area. A shocking photo taken by a patron at Bluesfest clearly shows a crotchety old lady on a bike being catapulted through the air on a strong gust of wind that some witnesses say was "tornado-like". The hag on the bike cackled and laughed at the younger people below as she was carried over the audience area and off into the distance. Moments later the main stage collapsed, with eye witness accounts claiming the old lady purposely hit the stage girders with what looked like a broom.

Bluesfest officials are continuing their investigation into the incident that injured four people that have since been released from hospital. "We are not ruling out foul play with this incident, and we are checking a lot of camera footage to see what really happened." Bluesfest Techinical Staff member Carl Leagan stated.

After the storm many patrons also witnessed what looked like flying monkeys hovering over the stage. An investigation by the Ontario Ministry Labour continues this week to determine what went wrong during the unusually violent and devastating wind storm Sunday night. Anyone who witnessed a crotchety old lady or flying monkeys are asked to come forward and call the investigation hot line at 613-555-5464.

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