Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Glebe Road Construction Unearths 40 Year Old Hippie Van With Occupants Still Inside

The Glebe - Construction crews were startled to discover a 40 year old hippie van buried beneath the surface of Bank Street as road work began in the Glebe this morning. Even more startling was the fact that the occupants of the vehicle were alive and well inside the van, apparently surviving on LSD, red wine and an assortment of flaxseed muffins.

At approximately 9:25am, a backhoe from GreenBelt Construction began to dig into the surface of Bank Street near the corner of Fifth avenue when the shovel hit a large metallic object. Construction crews then carefully unearthed a brightly coloured 1967 Volkswagen Van, bringing it to the surface for closer inspection. As the van was placed on the surface of Bank Street, two occupants emerged in tie-dye outfits and dishevelled hair. First to witness the hippies emerge from their vehicle was Ned Gillframp, who was shocked to see someone emerge from the van after being buried for 40 years. "The door creaked open, and these two hippies came out, giggling and asking us if we had any hemp tea." Gillframp explained. The two occupants, identified as Gloria Wasplinter, 67, and Jim Keely, 64, both former residents of the Glebe, apparently fell into a sinkhole on Bank Street in 1969, with road crews paving over the hole, trapping the van underneath. "We just hung out and chillaxed with some good acid, baked muffins, sang songs, and before you know it, we were dug up today." Keely remarked before heading to the Wild Oat Cafe for a Bean Sprout Gluten free sandwich.

The occupants are delighted to be back on the surface of the Glebe and are surprised to notice that not much has changed since they fell into the hole 40 years ago. "We can still get some great organic groceries, Birkenstock sandals, tie dye clothes, and hand woven hemp accessories." Wasplinter commented. "Even the place where I can buy old, used books at exorbitant prices is still here."


  1. Tommy, if I didn't know you so well, I might think you made this up.

    How would a coupla hoopies walled off like casks of THC-aged Amontillado know to use an anachronistic '90s neologism such as "chillax" instead of "mellow out" ...?

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