Ottawa - After a compassionate two year love affair, Melissa Bauman, 24, officially married her long time cell phone, a wonderful iPhone 3G. In an emotional ceremony at St. Peter’s Basilica in Centretown, Bauman wed her trusted and beloved cell phone with a traditional Catholic ceremony that was attended by over 200 guests.
A long time companion of Melissa’s, the iPhone 3G has never left her side after two years, and was frequently seen with her everywhere, providing solace, comfort and companionship that was lovingly celebrated as they exchanged wedding vows through a special app and live Twitter feed. As Father Charlie presided over the ceremony, the iPhone slipped a gorgeous ring tone to Melissa saying he loved her, and then Melissa kissed the screen of the iPhone.
Guests then retreated to Sallo San Marco on Preston Street for a lively reception where family and friends celebrated the fact Melissa has always been in love with her mobile phone device, and always chose it over other potential suitors. The father of the bride then made a moving speech about how the iPhone is “now part of the family” and how he “looks forward to spending time with the phone and learning about its many apps.” The newly wed couple plan to honeymoon in Cancun and anticipate raising a new family on the Sims app.