Monday, April 2, 2012

Bell Readies New $1-Per-Call Smart Payphone

Ottawa - Bell Canada prepares to launch its new "Smart" payphone called the "iBooth" this week after announcing plans to double payphone charges from 50 cents to $1.00. The new iBooth will justify the doubling in payphone use costs by offering such features as a self sanitizing app that sprays the screen with ammonia, killing germs and finger grease after each use. The new $1 payphone will also allow users to access weather apps, text and even use Twitter, as well as featuring apps that will allow drug deals and hooker calls to be made with the greatest of ease.

Designed in conjunction with Apple Inc. , the new iBooth will make the leap to $1-per-use seem like a bargain after replacing the antiquated,
touch tone, corded handsets of the old payphones. Director Of Development at Bell, John Francis, thinks the new iBooth will revolutionize the way drug deals are made and hookers conduct business. "Market research found that our payphones
were used primarily for closing or arranging a drug deal, or for securing prostitution by either hookers or their clients." explained Francis. "The new iBooth should make their tasks that much easier and worth the extra money the payphone will cost to operate." Francis remarked. "We even have a 'scent' app that mists the entire unit with a sanitizing deodorant spray so payphones will no longer smell like an ashtray filled with bile." said Francis who hopes the new iBooths will be in operation next week.

Conversion of the old, touch tone, corded handset payphones to the new, smart iBooths will continue over the next few days with an official launch planned for April 15th.

No comments:

Post a Comment