Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Subwoofer Vibrates Honda Civic Into Another Dimension

Elgin St. - A suped up 1996 Honda Civic with tinted windows and 22inch chrome rims vanished suddenly from Elgin Street as its subwoofer reached intra-dimensional sonic levels, transporting the car and its occupants into another dimension. The driver of the heavily modified vehicle, Chad Rogan, 22, and passengers, Crysty Vale, 19, Chaz Brennan, 21, were vibrated through inter-dimensional space when the Civic's subwoofer bass levels exceeded volume capacity, creating a dimensional vortex, sucking the car into an unknown dimension. Witnesses observed the modified Civic with tinted windows, huge exhaust tailpipe, giant spoiler and Calvin peeing on Ford symbol emblazoned car disappear at approximately 12:48am Wednesday night after it travelled up and down Elgin Street numerous times. "We heard a distant thumping sound and it got louder as a tricked out Civic approached us in front of Dunn's" remarked witness Chris Hutchins who also saw the car disappear. "The thumping bass got louder then we just saw the whole car vibrate into a blur and disappear" exclaimed Hutchins.

Carleton University Department of Physics professor Dr. Llloyd Gearly refers to this phenomenon as "subwooferizational teleportation" and claims the Civic will never be seen again. "The bass tones generated by the subwoofer inside the vehicle created a rift in the space-time continuum and unfortunately the car and anyone inside it were transported into another dimension where there is no return." remarked Gearly who thinks the subwoofer may have opened an inter-dimensional portal. "They are either vaporized into atomic dust or floating in a black hole environment." claims Gearly. "Its an amazing phenomena that is rarely caught on film."

One witness snapped a cell phone pic of the car as it vibrated into another dimension and has contacted police with the image as they continue to notify next of kin.


  1. Awesome. Thanks for the Saturday AM chuckle.

    "Subwooferizational telportation". Beautiful.

  2. I can't stop laughing at this. Going through these archives is making my day.

  3. New BMW's are expensive cars when new but that doesn't mean that some owners are delusional when it comes to mileage and used car pricing.