Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Peter Mansbridge To Become New Pope

CBC's Peter Mansbridge will be appointed as Pope Peter X
The Vatican - The papal conclave finalized plans today to appoint CBC News Anchor Peter Mansbridge as the successor to Pope Benedict XVI after a unanimous cardinal voting session within the Sistine Chapel. Mansbridge will be ordained as Pope Peter X in a papal ceremony later this week after the Vatican Clothier outfits Mansbridge in his new Pope clothes and hat.

The decision to appoint Mansbridge came after his exclusive interviews with various cardinals within the papal conclave this week, where his Canadian charm and easy going, but hard-hitting questions commanded the respect of all cardinals in the conclave. Cardinals also cited Mansbridge fit the bill with regards to appearance and stature, stating his looks "fit the bill well as the new Pope".

As the new pontiff, Mansbridge will retire from the CBC where he has been chief correspondent for CBC News and host of the popular program The National. Pope Peter X will then be ceremoniously sworn in as the new Pope at The Vatican as early as next week.

Canadian Cardinal Ouellet, who Mansbridge exclusively interviewed on CBC News, wishes the new pontiff well, and thinks Mansbridge will make a good Pope. "Peter is well suited to being Pope, his looks alone carry him far, but his hard-hitting questions about faith and religion and his congenial behaviour are what I think secured him the vote from the entire conclave." Ouellet remarked.

Other cardinals were less optimistic and cited that the Mansbridge appointment was a clerical error from within the conclave. "You put a pile of 80 year old men together in a room for days, there's bound to be some clerical errors, and I'm not saying Mansbridge shouldn't be the new Pope, I'm just saying I think we goofed up somehow." commented Cardinal Karl Lehmann from Germany. "We really don't know what happened in there because we burnt some stuff in the little oven by accident, so let's just roll with it and see what happens." Lehmann remarked.

1 comment:

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