Mayor McCheese, Spartacat Announce Candidacy For Mayor

Ottawa - The race for Mayor continues to heat up as both Mayor McCheese and Spartacat filed their nomination papers at City Hall this afternoon. McCheese held a press conference outside City Hall and spoke to the media and supporters about his upcoming campaign in a firm, but jovial manner. "I vow to make this town a deliciously enticing city to live in while delivering, fast, hot and great tasting service to its citizens." exclaimed McCheese. The media quickly barraged McCheese with questions regarding Lansdowne Park and transit issues, but a hovering flock of seagulls began to attack McCheese's bun head and he soon retreated to a waiting limousine. Before departing McCheese did announce that he looks forward to crushing his opponents and hopes the citizens of Ottawa will make the "right decision" when they go to the ballots on October 25.

Known for his tough stance on crime, many will remember McCheese's prosecution of the Hamburglar in 2004, and his recent deportation of Grimace back to his country of origin. McCheese is also known for his controversial development plans for Lansdowne, which integrates shopping with fast food and a 10,000 square foot "ball room" and slide area.

As McCheese left his press conference, Spartacat then took the stage, but due to an inability to speak, began firing his trademark hot dog gun into the audience, delivering a warm lunch to many onlookers. As the media hounded Spartacat with questions about his candidacy for Mayor, he became excited and started dancing to MC Hammer's uplifting song "Can't Touch This" and then moonwalked off stage.

Fellow candidate Jim Watson was unavailable for comment due to appearances at 34 different venues that day, but current Mayor Larry O'Brien remarked "The race for Mayor gets more and more interesting each day, but with my stockpile of Kryptonite, Superman and his Legion of Superheroes won't stand a chance." O'Brien was then seen exiting City Hall in a helicopter apparently en route to his secret lair.