Westboro Parents Make Kids Wear Safe, Organic Halloween Costumes

Westboro - Known as a haven for organic and "green" initiatives, Westboro will see a high number of children dressed in organic Halloween costumes thanks to over-protective and eco-conscious parents. Parents are flocking to the numerous children's boutiques along Richmond Road and Wellington West to purchase organic, fairly traded, green costumes for their children this Halloween.

With many children disappointed they will not be able to dress up as Zombies, Boba Fett, Dracula, Spiderman or even the fail-safe classic "witch", this Halloween in Westboro will see an abundance of character costumes utilizing eco-friendly products or themes. "The Compost Fairy", "Recycler Man", "Rain Barrel" and "Hemp Witch" are all new organically made, eco-safe costumes many parents are excited about making their children wear. "Little Nyles wanted to be Iron Man this Halloween, but that costume is made of plastic with who-knows-what chemicals are in it, so instead I bought him a 100% organic burlap sack costume and he'll be going as a Bridgehead Fairly Traded Coffee Bean bag." Westboro parent Belinda Lasser-Strauss explained as 7 year old Nyles cried uncontrollably in the Green Baby Boutique, which specializes in eco-friendly costumes.

Co-owner and manager of Green Baby Boutique, Leslie Garner commented on how trendy the eco-costumes are this year, and hopes the store will have enough inventory to keep up with demand. "Just yesterday we sold 23 flaxseed bio-degradable Peruvian deity masks." Garner remarked before helping another parent attempt to dress their screaming child in an organic African Tribal costume made of mud and wheat.

Also this year, many parents are taking the precaution to emblazon their child with safety gear and reflective tape so their trick-or-treating child will be out of harm's way on Halloween night. "I made sure to completely cover Leandra's Compost Fairy costume with reflective tape and made her wear a helmet so she's safe on Halloween." Westboro resident and parent Gary Frostman remarked as he purchased a blinker light for his other child's costume at GooGooGaGa Baby Boutique on Wellington Street West.

Traditional store bought costumes featuring classic ghosts, ghouls or favourite cartoon characters are being shunned in favour of the more expensive but bio-degradable "green" costumes being offered in the Westboro area. Residents handing out candy Hallow's Eve should expect large numbers of forcibly costumed children using recycled burlap sacks for candy receptacles, and prepare for kids arriving before it even gets dark so it's not "too scary" for the toddlers. Lasser-Strauss commented before taking her obviously distressed child to their Prius Hybrid in the parking lot.

Kemptville Area Hunter Accidentally Shot, Tied To Hood Of Pick-Up Truck

Kemptville- In a bizarre deer hunting accident outside of Kemptville, 38 year old Tyler Grogan was accidently shot by another hunter, and then tied to the hood of a truck and driven into the town as a “trophy”. Kemptville OPP are investigating the accident and do not rule out alcohol as a factor in the mishap. Responsible for the shooting is fellow deer hunter 42 year old Kyle Masken who was later arrested in Kemptville at a Mac’s convenience store when employees noticed the tied down hunter on the hood of Maskens 2004 GMC truck as he was attempting to buy cigarettes. Masken was apparently intoxicated while hunting and thought Grogan was a deer, mistakenly shooting him and then tying him to the hood of his truck as a trophy for all to see on his return to Kemptville.

Masken has no re-collection of the three days he spent in the woods outside Kemptville where he was deer hunting with three other hunters, who also were found intoxicated inside the cab of Masken’s truck. OPP are continuing their investigation and encourage anyone who may have seen the incident to report it to their local OPP detachment.

Lee Valley Catalogue Features Great Holiday Gift Ideas

Ottawa - The inventive and somewhat whimsical Ottawa based catalogue company Lee Valley has recently launched their latest Christmas catalogue which should be arriving in household mailboxes within the next few days. Chocked full of neat holiday gift ideas and gadgets to make the season more enjoyable, the 127 page catalogue presents unique, if not desirable items for all ages.

Well known for its quality and product selection, Lee Valley adds over 300 new items to the catalogue this Christmas season, with two of these products worth being mentioned for their innovation and imagination, both trademarks of the Lee Valley company.

The Mother-In-Law Bag is a great idea that really aids in the enjoyment of the holiday season by allowing the user to seal up the pesky Mother-In-Law in a handy zippered polyethylene bag so you and guests can calmly enjoy the holidays without the stress of her annoying presence.

Also of note are handy Question and Answer cards to aid in answering all of those annoying personal questions holiday guests seem to ask when they see you. Pre-printed with your favourite questions ahead of time, you simply hand these out to the nosey guest who asked the question in the first place, saving you time and explanations about your life that isn't any of their business in the first place.

These and other great holiday gift ideas are sure to please the most discriminating shopper. Lee Valley President and Ceo Harb Taylor explains. "We try and give our customers the most unique, interesting and whimsical product choices on the market, and I think this year's catalogue hits the mark once again." Look for your Lee Valley catalogue in your mailbox this fall to see for yourself their wide range of unique products.

WATSON WINS, CELEBRATES AT 127 DIFFERENT VICTORY PARTIES ACROSS OTTAWA

Ottawa- Mayor Elect Jim Watson celebrated his big win Monday night by attending no less than 127 different victory parties across the city. Known for his incredibly busy schedule attending multiple events during his campaign, Watson continued his tradition of being everywhere at once and partied long into the night at various retirement homes, country fairs, church bazaars and frat houses across Ottawa.

Watson’s landslide victory into the Mayor’s chair was a stunning display of shotgun campaigning in the weeks leading up to election, with Watson never ceasing to attend any event in the greater Ottawa Valley. After a victory celebration with Ensure milkshakes at Palisades Retirement Home, Watson and his entourage quickly moved to the Hintonburg Bingo Hall where he was congratulated by hundreds of well wishers for about 12 minutes, and then vacated to attend another party over at the Glebe Community Craft Fair. “I just can’t stop the momentum of visiting everyone!” Watson gleefully exclaimed. “The job has just begun, there are over 98,985 places and events I have yet to visit.” the hard working and charismatic Mayor-elect remarked before Tweeting the location of his next stop.

Losing to Watson, current Mayor Larry O’Brien gave a gracious speech and wished Watson well with his new job as Mayor beginning December 1st. “Jim really made himself available through the use of clones and holograms, which were impervious to my Kryptonite rays.” O’Brien commented before exiting from his campaign headquarters into a waiting Luthor Industries helicopter that took off into the night. O’Brien mentioned in his speech that he looks forward to returning to his secret lair as Lex Luthor and battling Superman once again.

Watson already has plans to attend 86 pancake breakfasts tomorrow morning and hopes to someday meet every citizen in Ottawa. “I’m halfway there, with over 6.786,234 campaign stops over the last ten weeks, I am closer to my goal of meeting everyone in this fine city.” Watson exclaimed before heading to Kanata for a celebratory cake cutting at a Lions' Club. Congratulations Jim, the O-dot wishes you all the best!

Westboro Cyclist Arrives To Work 3 Minutes Earlier Thanks To Spandex, Clicky Shoes

Westboro- Westboro resident Hubert Nettle was elated to learn he got to work 3 minutes earlier than normal thanks to his new Spandex bike shorts, aerodynamic helmet, camel pack and bolt-to-the-pedal click shoes. Attributing his early arrival at Statistics Canada to the new bike equipment, Nettle is elated and proud to learn he can now get there 3 minutes earlier. “I really needed the Spandex and click-in shoes to get here as fast as possible.” Nettle stated. “Without this bike equipment I definitely would have been 1-2 minutes slower.” he remarked.

Often questioned by on-lookers if he was in training for the Tour De France or Ironman Triathlon, Nettle joins the ranks of many Westboro residents who commute to work by bicycle, utilizing aerodynamic and time saving equipment such as Spandex outerwear and click-in-the-pedal shoes. Many of these commuters can be heard clacking around local coffee shops in their bike shoes and be seen in colourful Spandex, making their commute time shorter. “Sure I could easily just wear normal clothes and get to work for nine, but with my bike gear I can get there by 8:55.” explained fellow rider Kevin Murdale who also wears the elaborate outfit to work.

With traffic increasingly congested on city streets, many residents are opting to bike to work, but they want to make sure they take seriously the 19 minute bike ride into the downtown core. “I want people to know I bike to work when I walk into Bridgehead and the Spandex and clacking sound the shoes make as I walk around really assists with that image I’m trying to convey.” Murdale explains.

Next week both Murdale and Nettle hope to shave off another 30 seconds and increase attention to their image by wearing a face shield to improve aerodynamics. Next year, both cyclists will be purchasing recumbent bicycles to further decrease their commute time. Cyclists interested in acquiring these and other time saving devices can visit their local bike shop or any of the 178 outdoor stores in the Westboro area.

Watson Readies Clone Army For Mayor's Office

Ottawa - With only 5 days remaining in the campaign for Mayor, favoured candidate Jim Watson made a surprise announcement from his headquarters earlier today revealing he is actually one of 12 clones that were "created" for his campaign. Using cloning techniques perfected in Asia, Watson announced he clinically cloned himself so he could make multiple campaign appearances across the city at the same time.

Known for being at many events throughout the greater Ottawa area at the same time, Watson admitted his clones were attending the events for him, so he, or his "presence" could cover more ground during the campaign. The clones look, act and speak exactly like Watson who invested over $2 million in the cloning process. "I think the citizens of Ottawa should know that I am now even more capable of executing my duties as Mayor since I have 11 other "me's" to handle the difficult task." Watson explained to a shocked group of media and press attending the announcement at his campaign headquarters.

"However, people should also know that I am the only one Tweeting over 2,000 times a day, and those Tweets are not from my clones." Watson remarked before two red cloaked guards entered and kept a raucous crowd from approaching the clones that suddenly appeared from behind the curtains. Watson then commented his new clone army will bring order and stability to the galaxy and that the clones and he look forward to ruling the city from the Imperial Council after October 25. Watson then immediately Tweeted his announcement.

Competing candidates Larry O'Brien and Clive Doucet were shocked to learn of Watson's use of the clones to appear across the city at the same time, but were not surprised. "The guy is at a retirement home in Vanier at noon, then at a school assembly in Greely ten minutes later..it just didn't add up." Doucet replied. O'Brien remains confident he can win the election and beat the clones and Watson with his new Lighter-Than-Air Transit plan. "My ring-road idea, OC Transpo Zeppelins and giant Krypto-Laser Fuel Plant will get me back in City Hall." O'Brien remarked before boarding a helicopter bound for his secret lair.

O'Brien Proposes Lighter-Than-Air Transit Instead Of Light Rail

Ottawa- Current Mayor Larry O'Brien revealed today his future vision of transit in the Ottawa area through the use of Lighter-Than-Air vehicles rather than the planned Light Rail Transit system proposed by other mayoral candidates.

A somewhat confused and anxious O'Brien made his presentation to press and media in the lobby of City Hall this morning in an attempt to boost lagging voter confidence in his campaign. Criticized for his lack of vision with regards to transit in the Ottawa area, O'Brien emphatically unveiled a model of his planned airship that will carry commuters across the city. His plan uses lighter-than-air dirigibles that would transport passengers east and west from mooring towers in Kanata, Downtown and Orleans. O'Brien proposes the use of at least 25 airships through OC Transpo who would be the chief operator of the system. "The City of Ottawa needs giant blimps!" O'Brien stated in his presentation and continued to show a video and about the lighter-than-air vehicles. The media was than welcomed to question O'Brien about his new transit plan, with many reporters skeptical of the dangerous and expensive idea.

"The skies will be filled with giant blimps carrying commuters efficiently across our great city, freeing the roads of congesting traffic and allow us to gaze down upon the beauty that is Ottawa." O'Brien responded when asked why giant airships instead of light rail transit. Fellow candidate Jim Watson was puzzled by the last minute desperate attempt at a transit plan by O'Brien but did not completely dismiss the eccentric plan. "I could use the blimps myself to get to the multiple events I usually I have booked." commented Watson.

After the presentation O'Brien left the stage to board his own personal lighter-than-air ship docked behind City Hall emblazoned with "Luthor Industries", and took off towards a campaign stop in Greely.