After 13 Bottles Of Wine, Still No Talk Of Book At Book Club

Westboro- A local women's book club is still trying to select a suitable novel, let alone discuss a book, at their bi-weely book club meeting. After one particular meeting in which 13 bottles of red wine were consumed by the 6 members of the group, it was decided the book they will eventually choose should revolve around the plight of a repressed woman in the early 20th century, or focus on the struggle of a minority.

The book club, who dub themselves "The Westbookos" meet at each others Westboro homes to discuss and compare opinions on books, but have yet to decide on a book after eight meetings. "We usually get started by reviewing Oprah's Book Club list, but then we get sidetracked talking about the local neighbourhood gossip, and then when that fifth bottle of Shiraz gets opened, we forget about books altogether and start talking about organizing a weekend shopping trip down to the Syracuse outlet malls." explained book club member Laura Pilton-Criskle, a 38 year old mother of two. Other activities that sidetrack members from actually discussing books include: constantly checking their cell phones and/or Facebooking/Tweeting, answering cell phone calls from their distraught children, spilling wine on furniture resulting in lengthy cleanup procedures, and consoling certain members who usually break down crying to reveal emotional domestic problems after drinking too much wine.

The next meeting of The Westbookos takes place Thursday April 21 at Heather Nesden-Willis' home on Golden Ave. with times and more information listed on their website: westbooko.com

Ottawa Hydro Explains $25,000 Sens Tab

Ottawa - A recent document released yesterday revealed that the tax-payer owned public utility Ottawa Hydro recently spent over $25,000 on Ottawa Senators Deluxe corporate boxes, entertaining themselves and select clients. When confronted with the expenses, chief executive of the public utility, Rosemarie Leclair explained the expenses were justified and that the corporate box was a necessity in dealing with the stressful business of electricity. A chart breaking down the large expenses for the box seats this past season was soon made available under the Freedom of Information Act. It was also mentioned the box was used only for games where the Sens were probably going to lose a game, a "time of use" strategy Ottawa Hydro is trying to implement into its billing structure.

Leclair also went on to explain the corporate box was used specifically for business related activities like discussing issues such as service concerns and billing issues as well as to inform key account customers of programs (such as conservation and demand management programs)how they could work in their specific situations. It was stressed that at no time did anyone in the box turn their heads to watch the ongoing hockey game.

When hydro rates have increased by more than 18% over the last year, many customers will likely be upset, but Leclair defended the expenses by justifying their use. "The corporate box expenses were "smart metered" with clients and patrons being metered for their alcohol and nacho consumption so we weren't over-billed. In addition, we were charged as "time of use" customers by Scotiabank Place, and only paid for hot dogs and beer we consumed, and not for the beverages and foods in storage." replied Leclair.

Police Investigate Courtroom Sketch Abuse

Ottawa - The Special Investigation Unit of the Ottawa Police Department is investigating reports from persons under trial that their likeness is being abused by courtroom sketch artists. After a recent investigation into police actions involving cellblock abuse, now complaints have been filed by suspects undergoing trial that their sketch likeness is far from their actual appearance, with some sketch artists taking complete liberty with their renderings of the courtroom scene. In one instance, a person was depicted as a "furry", a fictional anthropomorphic animal character with human personalities and characteristics that resembles a half-human, half Japanese Anime furry creature. Another sketch under investigation had one defendant in a domestic assault case resembling the fictional comic strip character "Cathy".

"We are investigating the matter further and hope to reach some kind of conclusion as to what's going on with the courtroom sketches." exclaimed Police Chief Vern White, who initiated the sketch investigation. Courtroom sketch artists are hired on a freelance basis, so pinpointing exact instances of sketchal abuse will be difficult. "For the most part, these artists do a great job in re-creating the scene within the courtroom, but sometimes they get a bit carried away, especially if the trial is boring or lengthy." Ottawa Judicial Court Sketch Supervisor Jan Harding explained. "We sometimes see artists take liberty with the suspects under trial, but we try and get them to modify the likeness before it goes to the papers." Harding remarked. Many of the sketch artists are hoping to break into the comic book scene or try to implement their own genre of drawing style into their sketches, which may or may not work well within the courtroom scenario.

One suspect under a murder trial has filed a formal complaint with the Ottawa Police Department citing it misrepresents his likeness and it is damaging to his street credit. "I don't want to look like some Japanamation freak!" replied murder suspect Kevin Gorbson, who filed a complaint that his courtroom sketch unfairly depicted him as a furry nymph. "My rep is on the line here, this whole sketch thing needs to be shut down!" Gorbson commented before heading back to the courtroom where his trial was soon to be sketched by Janice Thurcott, a third year Fine Arts student at the University of Ottawa.

Ottawa SIU is investigating the sketchal abuse complaints and will be making some artists accountable for their improper courtroom depictions.

My First Blog!....written before my first latte! LOL!

Hi Everybody! Welcome to my blog! I purchased the rights to this blog from the previous blogger after my husband told me to do something during the day other than drink wine with the girls after yoga! LOL!

I've never blogged before but feel I have lots to talk about, since my days are pretty hectic living in such a great part of Ottawa! For example my day started with me making organic-locally harvested lunches for the kids using nut-free ingredients and packing them carefully in re-usable hemp bags. After dressing them in colour-co-ordinated Junior Ralph Lauren outfits purchased from the good people at Red Chair Kids, we hopped in the new BMW and scooted them to their 6:00am You-Go! Yoga class for kids. Some tears and screaming, but it was in French, so I guess the French Immersion is working! C'est Bon!

I then went home to change into my latest LuluLemon outfit and donned my over-sized sunglasses and headed to not one, but all four Bridgeheads that line the street! I had to take off my sunglasses because the shadows from the many loft condos made me run into an oversized stroller which turned out to be Linda from my spinning class! She was on her way to pick up her new kayak to mount to her Subaru Outback's roof.

Then the day got a little crazy when I walked into a sale at a Alteriors Boutique Furniture store where I spontaneously decided to buy a new $9,000 ottoman for the living room. Of course it was only available in "Muted Bone" so I had to go to the organic tile store next door to pick out tile samples to compliment the ottoman. Can you believe I have to wait for 12 weeks for the Libyan granite? Something about a civil war? Sheesh!

A trip down Wellington wouldn't be complete without a salmon pate confit from Thyme and Gain where I happened to see the girls from the Book Club. Well, didn't we get into the Zinfandel and eat way too many vegan brownies! LOL!

Then off to Yelling Yoga where we all yell at the top of our lungs while doing yoga..apparently this is all the rage in New York, and I must admit I felt relieved yelling all those profanities about my husband, but the yogi said it was therapeutic.

Feeling riled and somewhat still saucy from the Zinfandel, I headed into Tuesday's the Romance Store where I ran into about 34 other repressed housewives eager to get sexy in silk! We had quite a giggle at the new outfits that just came in...some even had lace!

Well didn't I check my iPhone and notice it was time to pick up the kids from their after school Tibetan cardio-breathing technique class, so I hopped into the BMW, cranked some Katy Perry on Majic 100, and headed home where my husband brought us home some Artisan Mac and Cheese and Tofu pizza! Yeah! Better scarf it down so I have time to get ready for the Book Club meeting at Juniper! Chapter one, chocolate martinis! LOL!

Scott Street Pothole Turned Into Delightful Koi Pond

Ottawa - After a minivan was destroyed by falling into a large pothole on Scott Street, city officials have decided to turn the 8 foot deep hole into a beautiful koi pond stocked with exotic koi adopted from the tsunami ravaged city of Hirokika, Japan. City Roads Department officials made the decision earlier today after it was deemed more cost-efficient to turn the pothole into a koi pond rather than repair the dangerous hole with asphalt.

"We really think this will enhance the beauty of Scott Street and give motorists a chance to enjoy their travels along the roadway." exclaimed City Roads Department head Glenn Mollack, who attended the ribbon cutting ceremony along with Mayor Jim Watson. Watson also praised the new koi pond as part of a "green initiative" City Council is trying to promote through such projects as the pothole koi pond. "Now as motorists slalom along Scott Street trying to avoid damaging potholes, they can relax for a moment and enjoy the tranquility of this wonderful koi pond." Watson commented.

A number of complaints were filed by city motorists about the large, and often treacherous potholes that scar Scott Street, with one motorist completely destroying their Toyota Sienna minivan after it fell into an 8 foot crevasse. It was later announced that a number of other koi ponds will be created in more potholes as soon as warmer weather arrives.

Canadians Excited About "Roll-Up-The-Rim To Be New Prime Minister"

Ottawa - Tired of having to deal with yet another election to determine who will be Canada's next Prime Minister, Canadians are excited to turn to their coffee to have a chance of winning the seat as Prime Minister. Coffee giant Tim Horton's launched today their new "Roll Up The Rim To Win Prime Minister" contest that allows customers to roll up their coffee cup rims to see if they win the coveted leader's position.

Tim Horton's President and CEO Herb Macklin officially launched the promotional campaign from a franchise store in Ottawa earlier this morning and is excited to offer Canadians a chance of becoming Prime Minister through this exciting new contest. "I sat down with the Governor General and discussed in great lengths how Canadians are sick and tired of the constant election barrage every year, and we worked out this amazing contest where one lucky winner will be awarded the prize of Prime Minister." Macklin stated from a podium at the the local Tim Horton's outlet. "You have a 1 in 30 million chance of rolling up a rim and discovering you will be a resident of 24 Sussex Drive!" exclaimed Macklin to an excited crowd of coffee swilling Canadians who gathered in the store to try their luck at winning the prize.

Recent polls show most Canadians are tired and apathetic towards yet another election, but are excited about the Tim Hortons contest. "I'm sick of all the government bickering, so this new contest is a nice change." Tim Hortons customer Glenn Droppo commented as he ordered a double double. "I'm grateful we now have an alternative to the current circus going on, and at the same time enjoying a cup of joe."

The "Roll-Up-the Rim To Win Prime Minister" contest closes May 2, when the winner will be made Prime Minister in a special ceremony at Rideau Hall.

New Glebe Footbridge Sponsored By Birkenstock

The Glebe - Residents of the Glebe neighbourhood are excited to learn that the proposed footbridge across the canal will be sponsored by footwear manufacturer Birkenstock, who plans to finance the construction of the bridge when it begins in 2012. Already a popular choice of footwear for almost the entire population of the Glebe, Birkenstock is enthusiastic about sponsoring a footbridge where many of its users will already be outfitted in their comfortably unstylish sandals. "We couldn't be happier to help build a bridge that will finally connect Birkenstock wearers on both sides the waterway." commented Birkenstock President Helmut Schmidt from his office in Berlin. "85% of our sales originate from the Glebe area, so we are pleased to have a chance to give back to the neighbourhood in this exciting way." Schmidt explained.

Many Glebe residents are also excited at the prospect of now being able to cross over from one side of the canal to the other on foot, instead of having to ride bicycles or walk around to the nearest bridge. "This is great, now I can slip on my Birks, grab a cup of green jasmine anti-oxidant tea along with some organic flax seed muffins and head over to my friend's place across the canal without having to drive my Subaru." responsed Tara Klyndall, a longtime Glebe resident who works making organic wooden bead necklaces for the local Organic Fair Trade retail store "OrganicDonor".

Birkenstock plans to finance construction of the bridge next year, when the recycled material, organic, compostable bridge begins construction. Plans have also been made to attach rain barrels to the bridge and to charge a bridge toll for anyone crossing the footbridge not wearing Birkenstock sandals.